


Half Hearted Jokes And Hospital Beds

by Gay_as_fuck



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Canon Disabled Character, Disability, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 08:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8617171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_as_fuck/pseuds/Gay_as_fuck
Summary: Havoc and Mustang talk while they are in the hospital together after being attacked by Lust. Mustang feels guilty and Havoc keeps a secret.





	

**Author's Note:**

> there is not enough havoc content out there, here is some poorly written stuff. I am bad at this shit so just go with it please.

The hospital was mostly quiet at night with only the steady hum of machines to break the silence. However even in the quiet Mustang couldn’t sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes he imagined what had happened only a day before. Images of Havoc, bleeding out on the floor next to him or Riza's crying form. 

He knew that Havoc and Riza were safe, that he’d killed the woman that had been after them, the one barry had called “lust”.

 

However when he saw Havoc bleeding out in his half asleep dreams his heart raced. He would jolt up, aggravating his injury in the process, and looked to see if Havoc was beside him. Instead of his friend’s sleeping form he saw a simple cloth divider.

 

For privacy each double room had a cloth divider in it. They hadn’t moved Havoc to another room so Mustang logically knew that Havoc would be resting on the other side of the curtain.

 

After years in Ishval where survival was never guaranteed he had learned not to trust things like that. One could only rely on themselves and a few select people they had befriended during the war. For Mustang those people had been Hawkeye and Hughes. One of them was dead, leaving Mustang with little to trust.

 

Even though he logically knew that there was no way that Havoc was not on the other side of the curtain he didn’t trust it. 

 

Whenever Mustang would burst awake again and look over at the cloth divider he felt dread in his gut. Dread and guilt, because he hadn’t been able to stop Havoc from getting hurt. The colonel was not one for apologies, believing that actions were always better than words. However some things could only be resolved with words. 

 

“Havoc”, Mustang tested, unsure of the second lieutenant was still awake. 

 

“Yeah?” Came the groggy reply. On the other side of the cloth Havoc was lying. He had not yet fallen asleep, and had no plans to. He was to scared by the fact that he couldn’t feel or move his legs. Not that he was going to tell Mustang that. 

 

“Nothing lieutenant, go back to sleep” Mustang said dismissively, half hoping that Havoc would stay awake and talk with him. He felt as though had had already asked too much of the man with getting him injured so he didn’t ask for that.

 

“I wasn’t sleeping sir”, Havoc replied, his voice was almost monotone, as if he had resigned himself to some fate unknown to Mustang.

 

“You should go to sleep then.” The higher ranking officer suggested. Havoc shrugged on his side of the room, even though he was fully aware Mustang couldn’t see him.

 

“I can’t”, Havoc admitted. He didn’t say anything else on the topic but Mustang could guess it had something to do with the attack. Mustang gave a somewhat amused huff.

 

“That makes two of us.” The two laid in silence for a little longer before Havoc spoke again. 

 

“You don’t have to worry about me you know. I’ll be fine. Soon i’ll be up and walking.” Havoc tried to lace his words with fake hope in an attempt to comfort the colonel. He knew that everything he had said was a lie but the older man didn’t need to know that yet.

 

“Yeah, it’s not like i’ve crippled us forever.” Mustang joked half heartedly. Havoc gritted his teeth and flinched a bit. For the first time in the conversation he was glad that there was a cloth between them.

 

“I’m sure that you’ll be up and working in no time flat. Or to be more clear avoiding work until Hawkeye threatens to shoot you if you don’t do it.”

 

Mustang gave a laugh at Havoc’s comment. Pain sprung up from his side causing Mustang to wince and grab his stomach. 

 

Havoc heard the painful grunt Mustang had let out. He attempted to turn and see Mustang but the god damned curtain was in the way. He almost tried to get to his feet and make sure the older man was okay.

 

In the last second he remembered though, and resigned himself to simply asking Mustang if he was okay.

 

“You alright?”

 

“Yes”, Mustang replied slight breathless. In a sudden flash of concert for his friend, who had been hurt much more than he had, asked the same question.

 

“Are you okay over there?”

 

“Yeah Yeah” Havoc replied, “the anesthetic they have me on means i can’t feel a thing.” Mustang smiled in relief now that he knew his subordinate wasn't in pain. 

 

“I wish I was on whatever you’ve got”, Mustang joked.

 

Havoc let out a laugh, it was faked of course but Mustang seemed not to notice. Havoc was somewhat glad that his commanding officer didn’t know what a terrible position he was in, the feeling of uselessness that invaded his every thought.

 

“You don’t dude, it’s got some nasty side effects” Havoc offered. It was a tasteless joke on his part but he didn’t much care.

 

“Sir, about uh what did you say her name was? Lust? Well, it was my fault that i got hurt. I can tell that you are blaming yourself. It’s not your fault”

 

Mustang was shocked at the forgiveness Havoc offered. How could Havoc think that that his getting hurt wasn’t Mustang’s fault? Mustang wanted to argue, to say how it was his fault. It is the job of a commander to protect his men after all and Mustang clearly hadn't done that. 

 

However, he was to tired to put up a fight. His wounds hurt to much and he knew that if he were to raise his voice it would only cause his organs more pain. So silently Roy Mustang excepted Havoc’s forgiveness, however he did not forgive himself. 

 

“Go to sleep Havoc”, Mustang ordered, his voice firm but soft. “We both need it.”

For a moment Havoc considered telling Mustang that he couldn't feel his legs, information he had only shared with his nurse and doctor. However he stayed silent and tried to settle down and sleep. Mustang blamed himself for what had happened, and would probably never forgive himself if Havoc was crippled for life. The blond decided that he’d tell Mustang about his legs in the morning. He didn’t need to cause his friend more pain and guilt just yet.


End file.
